Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Warning....This is a long one

so...I'm sorry it has taken me so long to report the details of our little boy's arrival, but I've been a little nervous to write this post. Watching your child come into the world is hard to comprehend, let alone explain.

When I returned home from serving a mission for the LDS church, I kind of dreaded running into people that I knew because I knew they would ask me..."How was your mission?"
That might sound weird, but when you serve a mission, or perhaps you're in the military and return home from serving your country, or after you climb Mt. Everest, or watch a loved one pass into the next life, or do pretty much anything that stretches you to extremes that you never thought you were capable of surviving... a question like that is almost insulting. I just wanted to ask them in return, "Do you really want to know? Do you really care? Because it was the most exhausting, difficult, rewarding, beautiful, sacred, humbling, miserable, and challenging learning experience that I have ever endured. I gave my blood, sweat, tears, and heart and people spit on me, yelled at me, berated me, threatened me, and hated me. I loved every minute of it. Even the parts that I hated. Everything that is good in my life right now is a direct result of the time I spent serving others in Washington DC. I would never trade it or do it over. It was the best time of my life."
But you see, even a response like that can't impress upon someone the feelings and the reality of it all. In the end, words can't describe it so you end up with a short but trite replay like, "good, thanks". The truth is there is no substitute for experience...and unless you've been there you just couldn't really comprehend. That's how it felt to watch my beautiful, healthy, and PERFECT son come into this world. All of you who have experienced it are nodding your heads because you get it, and those who haven't might be too....but you can't really understand until you've been there.

At some time around 7AM, after a long night of tossing and turning from anxiety, the phone rang. Hanna jumped a bit at the sound and it woke me up. She answered. I could hear a woman's voice coming through the receiver asking, in essence, if we were ready and how soon we could come in to be induced. We knew they might call, but weren't really expecting anything until later in the day, but she replied that we could leave within a half an hour. The bags had been packed for days and we had been ready to go because of the 4 days or so of false labor that Hanna had been experiencing. The contractions would begin to come and they would get consistent for hours at a time, but would never increase in strength. She had dilated to a 3 and 1/2about 10 days earlier and was 90% effaced. She probably walked 20 miles in those couple of days trying to motivate him to come. She was ready, but I guess our little guy wasn't.

I climbed out of bed and just kind of wandered around the room in somewhat of a daze trying to figure out where to begin and finally remembered where we kept the bathroom and decided to start there. About 35 minutes later we were both upright, clothed, clean, the car was loaded up and the dog was fed. We got to the hospital just before 8.
9am they broke Hanna's water, 1pm she decided she'd had enough fun and the epidural was given, and in the following 2 hours she went from a 4 to a 7. Just before 5pm she was declared a 10 and the real work began.
I was exhausted at this point. I just didn't think that I could take much more. I thought about asking if we could just keep her numb until the next day after I got a good nights rest, but Hanna insisted. I trudged forward.
Hanna was a total champ at the whole push the baby out thing. She was really great.I was pretty nervous going into this thing because Hanna can be a bit "aggressive", shall we say?? I think that she might have considered that trading my life for our son's would be an acceptable proposal so initially I wondered if it was really in my best interest to be within arms reach of her. Luckily, the drugs had made her quite pleasant, and we had a very positive and healthy experience working together to get that baby out.
After about 40 minutes of pushing, and still no baby, we were notified that we liked our children sunny side up. I guess they don't so much. Instead of coming through the birth canal facing down, he was facing the ceiling. I think that it was just because he was just SO excited to put a face with the very manly and comforting voice that had given him pep talks every night before bed. Maybe he's a back sleeper like his mom. Who knows. Whatever the case, it was cause for much more effort from Hanna. After about an hour of pushing Hanna just looked at me with pleading in her eyes and I knew she was ready to be done. She had done so great, but she was losing energy and confidence. So I did what any good husband would do...I lied. "Oh he's SO close he's like right there. Just 1 or 2 more pushes and he's here." I was just practicing though for when I'd get to tell my kids, "Oh we're almost there. Just up around the next corner. Keep walking and quit whining."
6:36pm Our precious baby made his appearance. (FYI...I too was born at exactly 6:36pm) What a moment. After the doctor unwrapped the umbilical cord and cleaned the airways, there was the beautiful sound of an infant crying. The single most amazing moment in my life was watching my lovely Hanna reach out and hold our firstborn for the first time.

I couldn't stop staring. He's Perfect. For days now all I can do is stare. We have loved having him here and I don't think that either of us knew that we could love so much. We think that he's pretty special. Hope you agree.

Here's our first family picture....

16 comments:

Kyle and Shanalee

I'm glad it was a long post! It was so beautifully written, I'm sitting in tears, what a special moment for you to share. I am so happy your baby is here and healthy and Mom is doing well too!

Matt

...oh. this is perfect. absolutely perfect. good story telling skills too. funny to think of the anxiety leading to the day, but the peace of the moment. good times.

Holt House

You weren't kidding....that was a doozy...but so sweet! I'm so happy for you two and your little bundle..He's adorable. I can't wait to see him in person. Hope you get some good sleep as a new mommy!

Anonymous

Way to make me cry Cody!...you have a beatiful family.

Berioska.

Anonymous

you seriously know how to write. You made me cry...

Berioska

devinandamie

your a great writer! it wasn't until like 5 minutes into when you said "hannah" that I realized it wasn't hannah writing! I usually skip out on long posts like that, but that was worth it. Welcome little Cam Cam.

cousin Amie

Caleb and Hayley Jean

Oh Code! You sentimental little thing! Seriously though buddy, you are an amazing writer! Ever since I started reading your letters from your mission I've thought you should pursue some sort of career in writing...you just have a way with words! I love it! And for the record me and Camdon share a wall cuz our rooms are next to each other and we have the same middle name! I'm definitely going to be his favorite uncle! I love you guys and I love that little guy even though he wakes me up at night haha! Peace

Vaughn and Shelby

Thanks for sharing. What a wonderful experience. You give me a little hope :)

Reagan

Adorable little family you have. Hope youre all doing well! Good job momma.

Dave & Colette

Congratulations! What a beautiful post. I'm in tears.
You and Hannah are amazing writers.
What a wonderful time in life enjoy your sweet new baby. He's beautiful.
I'm so proud of you both you'll be great parents.

Tolman Family

Super big congrats to the both of you! He is very lucky to have the two of you as parents! Jessica and I are very happy for the both of you. There are a lot more of those"just staring" moments...I don't think I have stopped staring! You have a beautiful family and we are glad that all 3 of you are doing well!

Lindsay

beautiful.

Jamie

That was too cute! It makes me so excited. Too bad we're only halfway through :). Camdon is adorable and you guys are going to make great parents!!

McKenna

I have to agree. It is just one of those things that you have to experience for yourself to understand and appreciate what has just taken place. I am so glad that everything went okay. Thank you for putting into words something that I was never talented enough to accomplish. I hope that he will let you guys get some sleep once in awhile.

Lisa

Well said!

Jared & Shanee

He is adorable. I am so happy for you guys. You two will be the most amazing parents. We will have to make a trip down that way so we can stop by and see him. Congratulations. and by the way, we are loving sadie. She is so much fun and we can't thank you two enough. Have a great day and we hope to see you soon.