The Mia Maids

At church I am a Mia maid counselor. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, Mia maids is the class for girls at church between the ages of 14-15. I was really excited to be a part of this. My main responsibilities are to teach class on Sunday and to show up for their activities on Wednesday. Its pretty low key and I like that. Plus there is a girl named Hannah in the class that looks like she could be my daughter...same hair color and look...its pretty freaky, but makes things interesting.

ANYWAY, I had to teach yesterday. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal. I taught Relief Society (the class for women 18 and older) for almost 2 years, Gospel Doctrine (the class for all adults) for months, and served a mission teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to whomever would listen. Needless to say, I have no problem teaching. I actually really like it and feel super comfortable in front of people...or so I thought.

Yesterday, when I got in front of the girls, I froze. Then, when I finally compiled myself and began to teach my jaw and body started shaking uncontrollably. I was so intimidated and I couldn't figure out why. It may be because I remember being their age and hating being there. Or maybe, as my husband pointed out, it may be because I still view them as my peers...at least more than I do the older women in their 40s and 50s. Whatever the reason, I was terrified. I would have tried envisioning them naked to ease my anxiety, if that wasn't really creepy and morally disturbing.

After a few minutes of shaking, I started sweating profusely. I was a wreck, I actually had to pull out a chair and sit down. And the whole time this was going on internally, the 10 or so girls just sat in their chairs and stared, expressionless. I swear they didn't even move a muscle the whole time, their faces were blank. Their beady little eyes just penetrated into my soul. It was awful. Every question I asked and participation I sought after was overwhelmingly denied by silence...well, despite the one girl that always feels the need to comment. I guess there always is that one suck up know-it-all that thinks she has to say something about everything. I usually can't stand that type of person, but yesterday I was extremely grateful.

Eventually I made it through the 40 minutes or so alive. I calmed down, and even got like 3 or 4 comments after on how I did a really good job...yeah right. I am now traumatized and intimidated tremendously by 14 year olds. What will I ever do with myself?

I think the worst part is that its not like this was even my first time teaching. I have had the calling for a couple months. haha.